How do you know?

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, seorang teman saya di kantor, sebut saja Mbak Ambar, melontarkan pertanyaan kepada saya dan seorang teman yang lain, sebut saja Mbak Tyas.
“Bagaimana kamu tahu suami atau istrimu sekarang adalah orang yang tepat?”

Berhubung saya dan Mbak Tyas belum menikah jadilah kami bingung dengan pertanyaan itu. Melihat kami yang cuma terdiam dan berpandangan maka dia mengganti pertanyaannya..
“How do you know that you love somebody?”

Well, this is quite a question, up to now I couldn’t even explain in details how.. Somehow the question stick in my mind, I wonder what other people may think if they are given such question. So I texted my friends to know how they know..

These are responses from some of them. i write it just the way they wrote to me, without changing anything..

“Wah udah lupa, udah lama ga jatuh cinta,ha…ha… Apa y… Selalu kangen mungkin…” -Charliet Trisuligna, Set. Pengadilan Pajak-

“Kamu tak bisa tak mendengar suaranya dalam waktu yang lama”
-Alief Rasyidi, KPP Pratama Palangka Raya-

“Gmn y, y jadi seneng aja gitu klo ketemu, rasanya pengen ngelakuin ini itu bwt orang itu ^^ ” -Mike Damayanti, BPPK-

“Logika lu banyakan gak jalan bareng ma dy, Lu grogi ngomong ma dy, Lu selalu mikirin dy kebanyakan hal2 sepele, mendramatisir sikon lu ma dy”
-Faizal Riza, KPP Pratama Ambon-


“When u can’t stop thinking about him/her..and everytime you think about him/her, ur heart is overloaded with joy!” -Zul Fadjri, Alcatel-

“Lo seneng sekalipun cuma liat dia senyum. Lo ikut simpati liat dia sedih. Lo ga tega liat dia salah jalan. Lo pengen terlibat dgn kebahagiaan n kesulitan dia”
-Adjie Raharja, KPP Pratama Tanjung Balai Karimun-

“I don’t know exactly, I just feel it”
-Isti Hanifah, Dir.Jend.Kekayaan Negara-

“Kalo apa yang ada d pikiran lo cm dia. Apa2 keinget dia. Mau ngapain ingat dia. Klo ketemu bawaan jadi deg2an, grogi, gak kayak ketemu tman biasa. Things like that..” -Septianniko P., KPP Pratama Kuningan-

“When the stupid and normally annoying things become endearing. Irrationally so. N when you feel u can trust this person on a very intimate level. With all the pieces of you. The good and the bad” -Motti Getarinta B., Fasilkom UI-

“ Hmm, kepikiran dy terus gt.. mau makan inget dy, mau tidur inget dy, mau kerja inget dy, mau boker pun inget dy, hihihihihi”
-Helmi Zus Rizal, KPP Pratama Bontang-

“Dunno, just feel it”
–Arief Prayoga, Set. Pengadilan Pajak-

“Saat kamu mulai bingung ttg apa yg kamu rasakan”
-Rahmat Irawan, Dir.Jend. Kekayaan Negara-

“Susah jawabna.. 1. Mungkin kamu deg2an klo deket dy; 2. Mungkin kamu biasa aja tp tenang bersamany; 3. Mungkin kamu tak pernah bisa berhenti membencinya; 4. Mungkin kamu terus berharap yang bagus2 bwt dy walau kdg nyakitin kamu; 5. Mungkin kamu bisa tertawa padahal dy g lucu” -Dwi Wulandari, BPPK-

“Selalu mikirin orang itu, selalu ingin ngasih perhatian ke orang itu, yah deg2an aja kalo ketemu” -Ersa Saefuloh, KPP Pratama Bireun-

“Everything seems right when your love around..”
-Uthar Mukthadir, Badan Pemeriksa Keuangan-

“if I feel she is the one.. Bila kelima indera gw merasakan kehadirannya jika gw deket ma dia. Karena jangan sampe terjebak dalam cinta buta, dalam kamus gw gak ada cinta buta, jika cinta tdk dapat dilihat, rasakan dengan keempat indera yang lain..” -Syah Rizal Alief, KPP Pratama Jayapura-

“Kalo lo ditanya kenapa lo suka dengan orang itu dan lo jawab ga tau alasannya artinya lw cinta ma dy ” -Ryan Brillyan, Deco Abadi -

“Emang ada cara untuk tau kapan kita mencintai orang itu?”
-Christian de Vano, DJKN Jayapura-

“Bukannya sok anak baik tp gw gay akin pernah mencintai seseorang di luar anggota keluarga. Jadi yang gw rasain ke keluarga inti gw adalah g pengen jauh, ga pernah ngrasa bosen, ga pengen bikin mereka sakit (marah, kecewa,dkk), selalu ada pemakluman untuk sikap dan hal2 yang ada pada mereka, yang paling2 adalah kecanduan!!” –Hesria Menur, KPP Pratama Banjarmasin-

"Ketika kamu tersenyum melihat orang yg kamu cintai bahagia meskipun bahagiany bukan denganmu" –Badia Ahmad Burhani, Kanwil DJP Kaltim-


Well, those are some different comments from my friends. At that time I personally answer, “when you feel the chemistry”, sounds cliché? Well maybe, but that’s how I can explain it. You’ll never know when, you just feel..


What about you readers, how do you know that you love somebody?

Today, A Year Ago..

A year ago, right on this date, a guy asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes. We were friends turn into lovers and now we are becoming friends again. Yes, that's true, i'm no longer with the one i agreed to be with a year ago.

Most of our friends may say: "they are not over yet" or "ah ntar pasti lw balik balik juga ma dia" or "both of you still love each other" when they see my interaction with him. I stay friends with him after the break up, mostly because i appreciate the friendship that we had before and during the relationship. it is hard though, because he still want me but i don't wanna be in that kind of "relationship" with him anymore.

The first four months after the break up is filled with a lot of "please come back to me" and "give me another chance" request from him, and every time he did it i have to turned him down. I never like the feeling after turning someone down, it bothers my mind and my heart at the same time, usually for quite a long time. The thing is, i just couldn't grant his request, not at those times. Those moments are not today, a year ago. Not the time i can say yes again because the feeling now is different. I don't feel the same way as i felt to him a year ago, not anymore.

Maybe most of you will think about how my feeling is easily changing, well unfortunately that's not true. The feeling's changing is not as simple as it seemed, it took a big incident and time. It was not like deleting a file from your pc, or like deleting a text message from your cellphone. Anyway, it was pretty complex so I wouldn't tell the details. But what i know is i still want to have a friend like him.

I wrote this because early in the morning i remembered that today, a year ago i officially became his girlfriend but somehow we never make it until today.

Today, maybe I already grow a feeling to someone else, maybe I still enjoy being single, maybe I know some guys are approaching, but one thing for sure I want to have my friends around and that's including him..


Because today is no longer today, a year ago..

A Birthday Surprise for A Friend

“..winter spring summer or fall, all youhave to do is call
And I’ll be there yes I will, you’ve got a friend ”

Tanggal 8 Januari yang lalau adalah hari ulang tahun seorang sahabat dekat saya, namanya Hesria Meti Nurjanah (dikenal dengan berbagai panggilan: riri, yii, nyii, mba menur), I personally sometimes call her yii or sist.. Ini pertama kalinya dia merayakan ulang tahun jauh dari keluarga,yang membuatnya sangat sedih setiap kali teringat hal itu.

……………………………….
05/01/2010
[teman2,ini rani.. teman kita riri tgl 8 nanti ultah kan, nah pengen ngasih scrapbook yang isinya foto + ucapan slmt ultah dr temen2nya..nah krn itu, minta bantuan tmn2 bwt ngirim foto dengan pose sekreatif mungkin yg intinya ada ucapan slmt ultah (ex:pose bawa spanduk happy bday, megang kue tart, atw cukup kertas yg bertuliskan happy bday) + ucapanny skalian…tolng dikirim via email ke ramadhani.ardiansyah@gmail.com atw via mms k 081932642***. Thnx a lot friends!]
Message sent
-----------------------------
That was a text message that I sent to our friends. From that day, the “scrapbook project” started. Not only from far-away friends, I also collect photos and greetings from friends around us, in my office and hers as well, and also from her friends that aren’t mine yet. That was pretty tough, because most of them kept postponing to send the pictures and greetings.
Karena banyak yang tidak bisa memenuhi deadline pengumpulan foto, akhirnya saya harus mencetak secara bertahap agar scrapbook-nya tetap bisa dikerjakan. Terima kasih banyak untuk Mas Rifky dan Mas Binuko yang mengantarkan saya mencetak foto-foto dan membeli bahan-bahan untuk membuat scrapbook. Anyway the book was supposed to be a surprise present but apparently one of the friend who thought I already give the scrapbook to her mention about that. So it was no longer become a surprise present.

Percakapan mereka (seperti yang diceritakan ke saya) kurang lebih seperti ini :
Friend: Happy birthday ya rii!
Riri. : Iya makasiiiih…
Friend: Oh iya, gimana scrapbook-nya?bagus?
Riri. : …………..
Hmmm, kayaknya yang itu belum sampe ke gue deh


Anyway, it took quite a while to finish the book, but with lots of help, especially from Mbak Ria and Mbak Tri in the office (yes people, you read it right,we do it in the office. Sampai-sampai salah satu atasan saya sambil bercanda berkomentar: ”untung riri ulang tahun cuma setahun sekali, coba kalo tiap bulan, bisa-bisa nanti di Buku Produksi kalian isinya membuat scrapbook terus”).
Sepulang kantor dan selama di kosan saya juga terbantu dengan kehadiran Putri Melati a.k.a. Pumelita, sahabat saya yang satu ini membantu dalam menyelesaikan dan memberikan sentuhan akhir sebelum scrapbooknya diserahkan.

Not only the scrapbook thingy, i also initiated a surprise party for her, so even when she’s not with her family, she can celebrate it with all of us here. Just to show that she also have another “family”.

Dengan bantuan Bang Aulia, kami berhasil menemukan tempat yang lumayan “cozy and personal” untuk surprise party-nya. There were 16 of us there, consisting of friends from her office, my office and Pumelita. Mas Bangun, one of our friend was assigned to keep Riri away and later take her to the spot, meanwhile the rest of us waited there. We requested live music from the café, prepared cake and 23 candles. Right after they got into the parking lot, we dimmed the lights and prepared the candles. We stood side by side, surrounding the table and each of us was holding 1 or 2 candles.

Begitu Riri dan Mas Bangun datang dan menuju ke lantai 2 kafe tempat kami menyiapkan surprise party, musiknya dimainkan dan kami semua bernyanyi, Riri lumayan kaget karena tidak menyangka saya dan teman-teman lain lah yang ada di sana. Kemudian dia berkeliling meniup satu persatu lilin yang kami pegang, memotong kue ulang tahun dan menyuapi kami semua satu per satu. Setelah itu acara dipenuhi dengan makan-ngobrol-foto serta beberapa sumbangan lagu.

Somehow with all the obstacle, we managed to make this come true. Its good to know that I can do things like this for my best friend and to know our other friends are also care enough to help with the scrapbook and the surprise party, especially because I don’t want to see her sad on her birthday. After all, we say happy birthday, so basically we should be happy when birthday comes..

Finally the scrapbook is given the day after her birthday, on our “girls nite out” dinner the day after the birthday. Again, a bunch of thanks to everyone that participated.

Last, Happy Birthday to my sister, Hesria “Yii” Menur..
Hope you will always have great and blessed life ahead..

An unforgettable date (?)

What comes in your mind when asked about unforgettable date?

Having a candlelight dinner? enjoying sunset on the beach? Watching romantic movie? Chat under starry sky? Well it could be vary depending on what kind of date you’ve been into, but most likely its about special places or occasion right? its about looking good and picking the “most suitable” place to spend the time together, just you and your loved one.. In other case there are dates that actually didn’t meant to be special, probably just another night or weekend to spend together, but then they turn out to be unforgettable ones.

Probably this is what happen in my case, one day when I arrived in Jakarta, 2 best friends picked me up at the airport. We were on our way to meet other friends when the car machines started to heat up and burned so we have to pullover and park the car in one of the building parking lot around Sudirman. The radiator was overheated and there were leakage on the pipe. Hopeless, we the decided to take a cab continuing our way. The story continue, we meet up, have a delicious late-lunch and nice chit-chat in a restaurant somewhere around Thamrin, after that everyone had to go and deal with their business. It was the two of us left, my friend who own the car and I, that’s because we already planned to spend the rest of the day together..

We need to get the car fixed, but there was no way to bring it anywhere with that condition. It needed an emergency handling. So we decided to find the equipments, and so we called it a “date”. We were wearing t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, walked hand in hand along the road (I mean literally walking, and it was pretty far), got in and out of malls trying to find car-maintenance-section, talked bout random things and laughed over it, sweating all over and then it started to drizzle again. Luckily by that time we already got what we need, then it’s the time to go back to the parking lot, this time by cab because its pretty far from where we were at that time. It was fun, so much fun. Unusual, uncommon, unlike what a normal couple would do on a date, but anyway we aren’t normal ones.

Now here comes the second part, the parking lot turned into our garage, he dealt with the machine thingy and me holding the flashlight, it took us sometimes to deal with it, then we still had to wait for some moment to see if its working. During the time, we talked over cigarette and bottles of water, staring at the sky where you can actually see lights from the buildings clearer than the stars, it was half moon at that time. It was not a decent place at all, I mean you can check a parking lot at night, but still we really enjoyed that moment. Still remember we talked about almost anything, our serious-mode on and off, hence we laughed a lot and enjoyed the time together. At that time he said sorry, because a date is supposed to be in a fine restaurant, enjoying good foods and talk over wine, but then we thought that it was only gonna be an ordinary one, the more awkward the situation we’re in, the more unforgettable it would be, so be it. Anyway, its true, even when we’re miles away apart, we still remember and talk about that very moment a lot.

Now as I write this piece, somehow I still miss him and our date(?)


"after a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh"
Mr.Big - Sex and The City