A year ago, right on this date, a guy asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes. We were friends turn into lovers and now we are becoming friends again. Yes, that's true, i'm no longer with the one i agreed to be with a year ago.
Most of our friends may say: "they are not over yet" or "ah ntar pasti lw balik balik juga ma dia" or "both of you still love each other" when they see my interaction with him. I stay friends with him after the break up, mostly because i appreciate the friendship that we had before and during the relationship. it is hard though, because he still want me but i don't wanna be in that kind of "relationship" with him anymore.
The first four months after the break up is filled with a lot of "please come back to me" and "give me another chance" request from him, and every time he did it i have to turned him down. I never like the feeling after turning someone down, it bothers my mind and my heart at the same time, usually for quite a long time. The thing is, i just couldn't grant his request, not at those times. Those moments are not today, a year ago. Not the time i can say yes again because the feeling now is different. I don't feel the same way as i felt to him a year ago, not anymore.
Maybe most of you will think about how my feeling is easily changing, well unfortunately that's not true. The feeling's changing is not as simple as it seemed, it took a big incident and time. It was not like deleting a file from your pc, or like deleting a text message from your cellphone. Anyway, it was pretty complex so I wouldn't tell the details. But what i know is i still want to have a friend like him.
I wrote this because early in the morning i remembered that today, a year ago i officially became his girlfriend but somehow we never make it until today.
Today, maybe I already grow a feeling to someone else, maybe I still enjoy being single, maybe I know some guys are approaching, but one thing for sure I want to have my friends around and that's including him..
Because today is no longer today, a year ago..
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hiks..sedihhh Nyi bacanya..
ReplyDeleteberarti smwnya udah?udahh??
hmm..
gw cm bs brdoa,
smoga masing2 dari kalian mendapatkan yg terbaik nantinya ya..
amin..
ah Rani nge-blog... nice... pls visit mine too... http://maheergrant.blogspot.com... let's feel by writing :D
ReplyDeletesepertinya..kesempatan kedua ga slalu datang buat seorang laki2...dan selalu, penyesalan itu datangnya belakangan...
ReplyDeletehari ini tepat setaun lalu, kita baru mulai masa2 magang kita...
suatu hari Insya Alloh ketemu yg cocok sampe akhir...amin :)
enak bahasanya buat refress my english. Jd bagi diriku yang kurang vocab-nya dan B.Ing secukupnya, keren dach ceritanya. Abiz baca rasanya otak cowoku langsung aktif mau ngajak jalan. ni harusnya lanjut ceritanya.
ReplyDelete@nay: bgtu sih kykny nay,hehe.. Didoakan aja bwt ke depan2ny.. ^^
ReplyDelete@k'maheer: yup, br diurusin lg ni k'.. I'll visit yours very soon,hehe..
@inul: iya nul, tdk semua wanita bs berbaik hati memberikan kesempatan kedua, dan mgkn aku salah satuny..amiin2..
@anto: terima kasih pak, mdh2an bs membantu.. ;)
cukup disayangkan sih sebenernya.. apalagi gw pengen liat dua orang sahabat gw bahagia..
ReplyDeleteafter all, thats for you to decide.. smoga bisa jadi keputusan yg terbaik ya nyi..
haaaaaah,,menghela nafas sebentar,,after that kind of long journey,,hehe,,still i hope a very best for you two wheather time can heal ar not, i guess let it be a secret,,just don't make a limitation on your life,ran,,btw,gimana d sana?! tim gw ilang satu,,kena fungsional,,tambah kerjaan gw,,fiuuuuuuh,,
ReplyDeleteapapun keputusan lw ran,apapun keputusan kalian berdua,gw dukung,meskipun kompleks banget hubungan kalian,yah biarkan waktu menjawab semuanya
ReplyDelete@niko: sometimes happines is not measured by togethernes, mgkn skrg lbh baik bgini, though I always want him to be my friend,,g suka aj klo persahabatan berakhir ketika udah bukan pacar lg..
ReplyDelete@agung: yuup, after that long journey, this is it..I won't create a border to anything,hehe..gw baik dsni gung,kerjaan bnyk dan gw suka,menyenangkan..
Tetap saja gw merindukan masa2 bs gila bareng kalian..ayoo kapan lagi..
@ersa: I know you'll say that..a big bunch of thnx sa, untuk semua keluh kesah dan tangis tengah malam gw, untuk joke2 dan cerita konyol yg bs membuat gw lupa sejenak, untuk tetap terjaga ketika gw butuh teman di malam2 tanpa akhir gw..
(Untung ada seorang lagi yg mw nglakuin ini smw jg sa, jd beban lw kebagi ma dy)
hmm,,hmm..hmm..
ReplyDeletewah,,ngmg'a serius smua neh(termasuk c ersa)..
dari dL gw mank bngung neH sama nyang nama'a cew,,
maka'a bngung mw nuLis paan..
d doakan bwt yg tErbaek aja dah..
amiin,,
sama2 nyik ^_^,thanks juga,iya2 untungnya yah :),hehehe,inget lw,jangan lupa mandiin godzilla gw
ReplyDeletekeknya diantara semua komentator, cuma gw doang ni yang gak nyambung si cowok yg dimaksud dlm cerita ini siapa.. hihihi..
ReplyDeletepasti ada alasan dibalik semua cerita
pasti ada jawaban dibalik semua peristiwa
mungkin dgn semua kejadian yg lw alamin ma si dia yg dulu itu menjadikan lw jd sekarang ini..
keep writing yaa.. gw baca blog lw skalian belajar posting with english..
aku juga punya blog, tapi postingnya dalam hati, salah satu judulnya "wanita itu gelas kaca"
ReplyDeletemaap blom bisa dibaca,hehe...
@badia: wah, lw mw berubah haluan ni dhan?jgn jd suka cwo y, msi bnyak cwe2 lain d luar sana...
ReplyDeleteanw thnx a lot ^^
@aquagelas: yaah, gmn cb bapak satu ini, ternyata sangat tidak perhatian padaku,hehe..
anw, you're right, everything happens for a reason, maybe we haven't figure it out now, but i'm sure someday we will..
mudah2an gw g males2an nulis bwt k depan2ny..
@inul: segera dipublish dong nul,,pengen baca...
gosip...gosip....
ReplyDeletesiapa?siapa?siapa?
hihihi
@natta :hahaha,ada yg pengen tau kyaknya..
ReplyDeletecoba tanya temen2 yg lain, banyak tu yg tw,haha..